It's quite alright to be a snail

(as well as a bad bitch.)

Friends,

This morning I overslept my alarm, dreamt of Miley Cyrus wearing a giant pink donut, and woke up half-snore to my husbae gently tap-tapping me into reality.

Wake up, little monstro.

August has been a gorgeous, frustrating mixed bag of slowness and forcedness, and I can feel my soul tap dancing between unlearning old, harmful narratives and dreaming up new loving ones that will support me better.

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Healing in real time

Just a few years ago, I was launching a hundred emails a day as a Bad Bitch Corporate Art Director and being applauded for my ability to get shit done. Sometimes I look back at her and think, how could we be the same person?!

Snail-ruka mesmerized by a branch (and forgetting to pedal).

Slowness had been an innate and treasured part of my child self, and I let that go—at times abruptly—as I grew up and tried to catch up with the pace of dominant society.

No longer wanting to be a part of that race, I’ve been taking the time to reconnect with that lovely slow child who gets lost in decaying leaves and rolling raindrops.

But alas! Having been fed “ACCOMPLISH” and “EXCELLENCE” cookies for most of my life, slowing down ain’t so easy. 🍪

Just as I’m about to sink into a sensory deprivation tank with Snail-ruka, Bad Bitch Haruka can come screeching back into my life (via motorcycle, sporting a John Galliano for Christian Dior red leather jacket, in case you were wondering). This Bad Bitch calls me “lazy” and “not good enough” when I haven’t been productive or didn’t meet a goal I had made for myself.

The inner critic, while she may seem harsh, has helped me soooooo much in life: she was the one who helped me learn English, survive scary situations, win drinking competitions (LOL), get promoted, move countries… like damn, she’s a star.

And because of this, when I don’t feel my inner critic’s presence, I feel a bit lonely. Like I’ve lost a part of myself.

So I write to you from this place of reprogramming: Bad Bitch is learning to use her powers for non-survival skills, like finding good flight deals and meticulously combing through my hair for split ends. Snail-ruka is learning that they won’t get reprimanded anymore for being slow. I don’t want to punish anyone like that, including my self.

A recent moment of practicing slow. (Sneakily and lovingly captured by husbae.)

What will happen when a shy and loving creature is encouraged to take up space and express what they want?

We shall see. Expanding, expanding, 1, 2…

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Earthling Letter No. 2 💌

The latest Letters from Earthling is out!

For folks who aren’t subscribed to the Times: you can access the full piece here on my Instagram for the time being.

📮 Some readers asked if they could get Earthling sent directly to their inbox. The answer is yes! From next month, I’ll send new pieces here via email, separate from monthly updates like this one.

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Soul spark ✨

What’s been inspiring me lately

This psychedelic pastoral set by the literal flower that is Liana Flores makes me feel like a fairy waiting for her lover to return from a sunflower business trip.

My fav Liana quote from this set:

“a while ago at a wool shop… an old man turned to me and said, ‘That’s a lot of wool. You must have a big cat.’ I don’t know why, but I still think of him every so often.”

Slurp up these golden days,

Haruka